Goal Setting

At this time every year I try and encourage Sam to think about goals for the future.  I try not to get too bogged down in detail and instead give him some guided sheets from Activity Village.

We started by looking at something he could do to help the environment.  He sleeps with his light on a lot (fear of the dark I think) so we agreed that he’d use his lamp instead and when he was used to that move to the nightlights.

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Later in the week we looked at what he could do to help other people.  His idea was he wanted to help children in Africa who don’t have access to clean water.  We discussed what he could do, but have left the idea on the backburner for now, we’re thinking something for World Water Day in March but yet to decide.

While we were looking around we decided to sign up to sponsor a child in the developing world.  After a bit of discussion we opted to sponsor ‘where need is greatest’.

Sam is also quite taken with the idea of Postpals, sending letters and gifts through the post to sick children.  He spent a good while looking and selected a child similar age and mutual interests to him to write to.

20160108_11 We also had some discussion (we’d done enough writing) about ways to be a good friend.  Focussing on one particular relationship.  We’d spent Weds with a friend of mine and I’m sure she won’t mind me saying but Sam doesn’t always have the easiest relationship with her children.  Him and the eldest get on very well when it’s just the two of them, he’s a calming influence, she brings out a fun, mischievous side in him.  Plus they have a lot of interests in common.  He struggles with the younger one though, mostly down to Sam still being really quite protective of his personal space (and needing probably considerably more than most – he’s really not cuddly).  On reflection actually it’s younger children in general at the moment his tolerance levels have dropped for (apart from toddlers he likes those), he’s very sensitive to being ‘bossed about’ among other things.  He’s starting to get better at handling things though and will not get upset and just flatly refuse to see people who cross his boundaries any more instead he’ll speak to their adults and ask them to intervene.  Which I’m really pleased about, it’s a huge step forward for him.

On the way home though Sam wasn’t the nicest I’ve ever seen him, refusing to let the youngest have a turn on his kindle.  It was something I have never seen off him before,  hes always been generous to a fault.  But there is a bit of a recent back story there with a couple of other (now ex) friends in completely separate incidents which really upset Sam at the times, so I didn’t insist (just mentally kicked myself for not encouraging the older two to stay in the seats where it was just the two of them).    But the following day we talked about whether it was kind and he could see it wasn’t.  We discussed how it can’t be nice, usually being the youngest and on the edge and how over excitement at joining in could well play a part in over exuberance.  That Sam could perhaps help by helping younger one to join in, adapting game if necessary.  Credit to Sam, I think he got it, we discussed phrases and strategies he could use to help, ‘please don’t do that I don’t like it, why don’t we…’.  I did have to laugh when we were discussing how Sam could deal with things when he found himself in the middle of a sibling argument so he didn’t have to take sides. I suggested distraction.  So if you see Sam randomly point at an object and yell ‘look a distraction!’  that’s what he’s doing 🙂

We’ve also been looking at personal goals for him; things to learn, books to read, DIY patches to aim for etc.  Looks like we’re going beyond a bit of dabbling in Scratch this year.  I did get another laugh when he told me that a few people on Scratch forums said he could  fix a glitch in one of his games with maths, so he wants to ‘learn maths’.  Specific and helpful there!

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These are the goals set on the way to London.  Appears to be some torture, violence and destroying the world involved.  Elton John and Boris Johnson feature somewhere!  Hmm!

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Meant to add these to the last post.  My gratitude jar (I’m not allowed to share Sam’s apparently.

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