This time of year is when you really feel the isolation of being neither a full placard waving Home Educator cheerfully crying ‘we’re not back to school’ or a push them through the gate and dance a jig of freedom school parent (I know most people don’t really feel that, bit tongue in cheek based on FB feed). For me, and I think others in a similar situation, its a time of conflicting emotions and a general mehness.

Our local HE group always have a big Not Back to School Picnic the week before term starts. I feel a bit guilty about not showing my face to chat to newbies, but never in the mood to celebrate ‘not back to school’ when it’s the last few days of having elder one home.  Once he actually goes I’ll be fine, will embrace the excitement of a new HE term and will spend the first day of term out catching up with HE friends as we usually do, on a much smaller scale ‘new term’ picnic.

For the first time ever I wouldn’t jump with excitement if he said this evening that he didn’t want to go back (he’s half way through GCSEs it would be daft to leave now). But accepting that school is the right place for him doesn’t stop me being sad that he won’t be around as much. Doesn’t stop the sinking dread at the prospect of the homework, the revision, the nagging him to get going on cold, wet mornings (well most mornings really) – it’s going to be a long old year.

I’ve been putting off HE prep too. I don’t know if it is denial that these few weeks are over. I’ve enjoyed having the space and time to focus on work and not having to be places, as well as having J about.  A lot closer to being there with the planning than I was this morning though.

HE wise, I think I am so conscious of the jump to KS3 and Sam’s needs for a bit more academic stretching that I’ve made myself a bit nervous and stressed with the planning. Once we settle down into routine we’ll be fine and I think he’s definitely ready for the routine. Planning is pretty much done, need to start punching holes and filing some bits and then some making resources and fleshing out and booking trips. Just not feeling the new term excitement yet.

Anyway there is filing to be done so…

P.S. If you are in a similar situation of having children in and out come and join this group. One of the best things I’ve done in recent years is set that up. Lovely non-judgemental group where we are all just trying to do the best for each child as an individual. It was pretty much universally agreed on there this morning that we all feel today is a bit pants!



2 thoughts on “Torn”

  1. I think you’re perfectly allowed to love both school and home education; it’s whatever is right for each child. Whether you attend a #NBTS event or not, you are a valued member of the homeschool community. I bet you’re a pretty awesome school mom too! x

    1. We don’t love school. Hate pretty much everything about it! He just still prefers it to HE for the people. I am rubbish at being school parent from schools perspective, late at returning slips, don’t interfere with having pens/kit etc (his responsibility, if he asks, I buy) and send husband to parents evening as I hate it. I do the group meetings/plays etc though when they are necesary and they are where you run the risk of the samba band – shudder! One more year! Only one more year! In denial on 6th form.

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